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Pretty Little Mess

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how we met [Tuesday
09/4/2007 at 01PM]
i thought i might enlighten you all to how we met.
it is a very unusual story and it seems like fate.

so...

it was friday june 1, 2007.
i went to this skate rat party in carlsbad, and i saw a bunch of people and i also saw kevin and his friend trever and some others.
so i was already drunk and a little high.
then we drank some moree...
then the cops came so we all hid.
and i hid with jenny kt kevin and trever...
ah flashed them and then the cops kicked us out so we all had to leave.
trever took my number from kevins phone and we talked.

sat june 2.
it was the calrsbad prom.
i didnt go to prom but i went to an after prom party and got all dressed up and drunk.
trever went to a spitz show and got all high.
so we talked when we were super fucked up.
you can imagine...

monday june 4.
so...trever and i talk some more.
and we hangout and get drunk with joe kt and jenny.
we danced in the parking lot.
he held my hand so i wouldnt fall and kissed me for the first time.
we went back to my house and after i lied to him he asked me out.
he saw through all my lies.


it was weird.
i ALWAYS think a lot and contemplate the person that i might start a relationship with.
but this one was spur of the moment and perfect.

fate?


for now.
Erased Them.

my man. [Tuesday
09/4/2007 at 01PM]
[ mood | cynical ]

so today is our three month.
its so weird though.
i feel like we have been together for so long.
im so happy and content with him.
the mother wants to move in with her man and have me keep the condo and she will pay half of the rent but with utilities and everything it is still 1150 a month...
ah i dunno.
we are thinking of moving in with preston having my old room.
hahaha so funny.
no more days of me laying around in my undies.
ah man i just have to tell these things to someone.
im not good at keeping secrets these days and its hard for me to lie which is a biggg change.
im getting a tat on thurs.
soo excited.
love you all.
x
kendra

Erased Them.

[Tuesday
12/5/2006 at 09PM]
damn i wanna give up.
or get out of here for a while.
Erased Them.

[Friday
11/3/2006 at 09PM]
[ music | Braille "It Won't last" ]

yeah.fuck you. you broke my heart.
and part of me knew you would. i wish i would have listened.
but part of me fell hard.
i guess it always hurts, but this time i had become attached to a familiar.
but why not with all the others?
i want my shit back. but the thing i want returned most, is something you will always have.
part of me will love you till my flesh turns to ashes.
maybe ill find at again.
or just compensate with this hole.
starting now, im starting over. i wont sleep with the next person i meet.

Erased Them.

broken birthdays [Tuesday
09/26/2006 at 05PM]
[ mood | melancholy ]
[ music | Damien Rice 'Cold Water' ]

it breaks my heart that i cant be with you on your birthday.
i havent since you were 18...
four years.
and you havent since my 12th.
five years.
your my brother.
my best friend.
my rock.

this fucking sucks.

Erased Them.

[Monday
09/18/2006 at 02PM]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | jonny cash ]

i dont think it hit me harder than when i saw you two together.
my life has changed.
i feel so fuckin lost now.
used.
broken.
i dont feel love anymore.
im just robotic.
then theres this kid, and for once i felt something again.
but he dosent even know.
just the way he looks at me.
and i feal something that i havent in months.
an actual feeling of attachment.
i dont even know him.

Erased Them.

[Monday
08/28/2006 at 08PM]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | raze ]

family doesnt mean blood.
keep the ones that mean a lot close.
they will always be there.
unconditional love is the only love that lasts eternally.
live and love selflessly.

Erased Them.

boredd [Sunday
08/27/2006 at 12PM]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | augustana ]

The longest survey you'll ever fill out! Do the world
a favor: fill it out and post it for all your friends.... Do this because the person who sent it to you didn't sit here for ages for
nothing. Answer all the questions honestly, no lying
to avoid stuff.

Time started: 12:51

Full Name: Kendra Kapoliokeonaona Palomar

Single or Taken: single

Sex: female

Birthday: Jan 15

Siblings: one brother

Eye color: light brown

Shoe size: 6 1/2 -7

Height: 5'3

Innie or Outie: Innie

What are you wearing right now: U of Hawai'i sweatchirt & shorts

Job: Vons

Where do you live: san diego,CA

Righty or lefty: right

Can you make a dollar in change right now: nope

--------------------------------------------------------------
Relationships
-------------------------------------------------------------
Who are your closest friends: rachel,kayla,cera

Do you have a BF or GF?: nope

Best place to go for a date: night picnic on the beach
--------------------------------------------------------------
Favorites...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Favorite place to shop: Eletric Chair,Pin-up girls Clothing Co.,Red Balls, & Target

Color: red

Number(s): 15

Boys Name: i dunno..

Girls Name: Cecilia

Animal: Bengal Tiger

Drink: water, or Jack

Fast-Food Place: none

Month: November

Movie: too many

Juice: cranberry,grapefruit, guava, passionfruit.

Finger: middle

Breakfast: brown rice, fruit, & some rice milk

Favorite cartoon character: tweety
--------------------------------------------------------------
Have you ever
--------------------------------------------------------------
Given anyone a bath: yah

Smoked: yep

Bungee: nope

Made yourself throw-up: yeah

Gone skinny dipping: yep

eaten a dog: nope

Put your tongue on a frozen pole: fortunally,no

Broken a bone: yepp, a few

Played truth or dare: yeah...we were all in jr.high

Been in a physical fight: yepp

Been in a police car: yepp

Been on a plane: yes doggie

Come close to dying: yep

been in a sauna: yea

swam in the ocean: yea, i live 2 min from the ocean

Fallen asleep in school: who hasn't

Ran away?: yeah

Broken someone's heart: yea

Cried when someone died: of course.

Cried in school: yea

Fell off your chair: chyeah

stayed up all night waiting for someone to call? no,but ive waited

Saved AIM conversations: haha yep

Saved e-mails: some

Fallen for one of your best friends?: chyeah

Made out with JUST a friend?: hah no

Used someone: yeah

----------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------What is...--------------------
Your good luck charm: my irish blood

Best song you ever heard: too many to name.

Stupidest thing you have ever done: ah theres a lot

What's your room like: Burgundy&black

Last thing you said: "k bye"

What is beside you: water, my purse, and a pack of smokes

Last thing u ate: vegan noodles

What kind of shampoo do you use?: Paul Mitchell

Best thing that has happened to you this year: change.

Worst thing that has happened to you this year: change.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Have you ever!?
----------------------------------------
Chicken pox: yeah, i was 2 and i have it to my bro.

Sore Throat: chyeah, i smoke & drink

Stitches: yepp

Broken nose: haha surprisingly, no

Believe in love at first sight: no

Like picnics: hell yeah

Like school: no

What schools have you gone to: CES/SCS, Crestview, Maple Park, Dubois, Springfield High,& Carlsbad High

Eat a live hamster for $1,000,000: nope

If you were stuck on an island, what people would you want with you: someone who can get me off the island haha

Who was the last person that called you: Jimmy

Who was the last person you slow danced with: haha my bro

What makes you laugh the most?: a lot of things

What makes you smile?: good memories, people i love being around.

------------------------------------------
Who is the last person
-----------------------------------------------------

You Kissed?: Nick

You yelled at: My Mom

Who broke your heart: Daniel

Who told you they loved you: My Mama

Is your loudest friend? Cera
--------------------------------------------------------------
Do you/Are You:
------------------------------------------------------------
Do you like filling these out: not really

Do you wear contacts or glases: both

Do you like yourself: somtimes

Do you get along with your family: yeah

Stolen anything over $50: yeah

Obsessive? no

Compulsive? no

Anorexic? no

Suicidal? no
--------------------------------------------------------------
Final questions
--------------------------------------------------------------


What are you listening to right now? augustana

What did you do yesterday: kicked it, worked, talked to Jimmy all night, & watched The Outsiders

Hated someone in your family: yup

Gotten any awards: yea

What car do you wish to have? 1957 caddy chevelle

Where do you want to get married? in a big beautiful church or on the clifts in ireland

If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? you dont need to know

Good driver: yes

Good Singer: shure

Have a lava lamp: no

How many remote controls are in your house: 3-4

Are you double jointed: yeah in my fingers

What do you dream about: stuff

Last time you showered: this morning

Last time you took a bath: i dunno

The last movie you saw at the theatres: uh...click?

Scary or happy movies: both

Rootbeer or Dr.Pepper: if it really came down to it...rootbeer

Mud or Jell-O wrestling: neither

Vanilla or chocolate: both

Skiing or Boarding: BOARDING

fall or winter: FALL

Silver or Gold: white gold or silver

Diamond or pearl: black pearl

Sunset or Sunrise: sunset

Sprite or 7up: 7up

Orange juice or apple juice: orange

Cats or dogs: Dogs

Coffee or tea: both

Phone or in person: in person.

Are you Oldest, middle, youngest or only child: youngest

Indoor or outdoor: outdoor

End Time: 1:17

Erased Them.

[Thursday
08/24/2006 at 07PM]
[ mood | disappointed ]

fuck.
i always screw up.


life never goes as planned.

Erased Them.

woot woot [Wednesday
08/23/2006 at 10PM]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | seet n low ]

so my bro is home. :) finally after 3 mo or so.
nina & dan are due in october.
i miss my best friend she is my world, and i cant do shit w/o her.
post pics later.
love love

Erased Them.

broken [Monday
06/12/2006 at 07PM]
[ music | streetlight manifesto ]

there are so many times where i just shove the pain inside of me and think that it will never come out again. when in all actuallity it comes out with a vengence. for many years now i have done just that and never delt with my problems just ran. it makes you very apathetic to the person you look at in the mirror every morning insted of wanting to be the person you can be and the person that God wants you to be. I am so scared of being close to someone in fear of having them hurt me or misuse my trust. no one is going to save you. You have to change and have God help you change. It is not an overnight thing it takes time. please pray for me while I am trying to change my ways and deal with everything inside of me.
love,kendra

Erased Them.

mixed feelings [Monday
05/15/2006 at 07AM]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | Reel Big Fish ]

ugh. boys.
i dunno what to do
if you read this and have my numero then hit me up
cz i need to talk to someone abt it.

Erased Them.

[Monday
02/27/2006 at 03PM]
[ mood | peaceful ]
[ music | The Fray "How to Save A LIfe" ]

life is...well how can you explain it. it has the high highs and the lowest lows. but all in all its great. we are all given more than we need or deserve. i guess theres always something to be thankful for in the end. and there is always someone there for you no matter what happens, even when all others fail, theres god. so live life. Laissez les bons temps rouler.
love you all.

Erased Them.

done [Tuesday
01/31/2006 at 07PM]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | "wasteland" Augustana ]

its over.

Erased Them.

confusion [Sunday
01/29/2006 at 03PM]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | Copeland ]

While nicotene and caffine rule my mind
I sit here wondering why
How long will this all last
Are you the one
That I dream about all night
You leave me wondering why
I leave a red stain on all i touch

Is there something holding you back from me
Or is it just all of my insecurities
I guess time will tell if these questions
Will someday reach the core of it all

I am so unsure of it all
Yet you seem all-knowing
Or is it that we just all want the same thing
I dont have any catchy melodies to express this
While you may have seen me naked and exposed
You never have really seen me at all

Your past loves and heartbreaks
Make you seem distant and cold
I guess time will tell if these questions
Will someday reach the core of it all

Erased Them.

ring [Sunday
01/8/2006 at 09PM]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | Flogging Molly ]

Image hosted by Photobucket.com


YEAH IM ENGAGED.

Erased Them.

new year [Monday
01/2/2006 at 07PM]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | Shiny Toy Guns "Rainy Monday" ]

so, it is the new year and as i look back on all the things that have changed and where i am now it amazes me. this time last year i was breaking up with a guy, very immature, not ready to be a sophmore, preppyish.non good music tastes, not intrested in my future. now-engaged, more mature (but still have a long way to go), ready to get out of high school start college and get married, great music taste, indie style, my future drives me, God is the center of my life now. i am so excited that the new year has started, and i am happy that i am exactly where i want to be.

i hope this year will change us all for the better.


love you all.

Erased Them.
Want them back x 1

[Tuesday
12/13/2005 at 10PM]
[Marital Status]engaged
[Shoe size]6
[Parents still together]nope
[Siblings]only the best bro- Jared
[Pets]nada
FAVORITES
[Color]red
[Number]15
[Animal] koala
[Drinks] agua
[Soda] dr.pepper
[Book] Lullaby by chuck palahniuk
[Flower] casablanca lillies
DO YOU
[Color your hair?] yes,but its my natural color right now
[Twirl your hair?] no
[Have tattoos?] not yet
[Have Piercings?] yeah
[Cheat on tests/homework?] sometimes
[Drink/Smoke?] yeah
[Like roller coasters?] love em
[Wish you could live somewhere else?] o'ahu
[Want more piercings?] yea
[Like cleaning?] nope
[Write in cursive or print?] both
[Own a web cam?] nope
[Know how to drive?] yeah haha not very well though
[Own a cell phone?] yeah
[Ever get off the damn computer?] yepp
HAVE U EVER
[Been in a fist fight?] yes
[Considered a life of crime?] no
[Considered being a hooker?] nope
[Lied to someone?] yes
[Been in love?] yeah
[Made out with JUST a friend?] haha. no
[Been in lust?] yeah
[Used someone] no
[Been used?] yea
[Been cheated on?] no
[Kicked someone in the nuts?] yeahh
[Stolen anything?] yep
[Held a gun] yeah
CURRENTS
[Current clothing] jeans,tee
[Current mood] happy
[Current taste] mint.i have gum in my mouth
[What you currently smell like] gum
[Current hair] its up
[Current thing I ought to be doing] homework
[Current cd in stereo] The Toasters
[Last book you read] On The Road- Jack Kerovac
[Last movie you saw] Buffalo 66
[Last thing you ate] cookie
[Last person you talked to on the phone] Daniel :-)
[Do drugs?] nope
[Believe there is life on other planets?] uh..i dunno
Remember your first love?] yes
[Still love him/her?] as a friend, but he lives far away
[Read the newspaper?] comics
[Have any gay or lesbian friends?] yeah
[Believe in miracles?] yeah
[Do well in school?] yea
[Wear hats] sometimes
[Hate yourself?] not really
[Have an obsession?] music
[Collect anything?] nope
[Have a best friend?] Heather,Rachel
[Close friends?] yeah quite a few
[Like your handwriting?] no
[Care about looks] not more than the next person
LOVE LIFE
[First crush] Blaine-kindergarten,real crush i dunno
[First kiss] Andre-3rd grade
[Do you believe in love at first sight?] lust at first sight
[Do you believe in "the one?"] yea
[Are you a tease?] i have been called one
[Too shy to make the first move?] no
ARE U A
[Daydreamer] somewhat
[Bitch/Asshole] no
[sarcastic] yeahh
[Angel] no
[Devil] somewhat
[Shy] kinda
[Talkative] yah kinda

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!




Erased Them.

him [Saturday
12/10/2005 at 07PM]
[ mood | loved ]
[ music | THE TOASTERS ]

I have so many feelings to express for him.
When i am cooking dinner he will stop me and cook for me, because "i already do too much."
I wake up to him singing "wouldnt it be nice" in my ear, while holding me.
When he looks me in the eyes i see in to his soul, and i know that he really loves me.
He picks me up when i can't walk,
He holds me when i am scared,
He protects me when i am in danger,
He guides me when i cannot see,
He trusts me, and confides in me.
He holds my hand through the night to let me know that i am not alone anymore.
He knows the true me, and sees though the facade.
He is always on my mind and in my heart.
He makes life worth while.
I find comfort and peace when he looks at me and holds me in his arms and whispers,"I will always love you."

Erased Them.

keys [Sunday
12/4/2005 at 03PM]
[ mood | grateful ]
[ music | Modest Mouse "Good Times are Killing" ]

so today i locked my self out when i was taking the trash out and it was amazing how God worked it all out. I stood around for 2 hours waiting for someone to help me(my cell was in the house). When finally s a lady (tracy) helped me find the landlord's help. Well I live on the 3rd floor, so we got to the 2nd floor then he lifted me up so i could climb up my railing to get to my house. He never let me fall, and God never lets you down, and always prevails when you are in need.
i am so grateful.
God is so rad.

Erased Them.
Want them back x 1

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